In this article I want to talk about how to take responsibility for your life, taking ownership of everything. We are basically bullshit ourselves in some way. We all have our excuses, our reasons, we blame things on external sources. Why certain things did not happen and sometimes, our bullshit are some believable that other people buy into it and we also buy into it as well.
Maybe your story is, I didn’t have the time or I didn’t have the money or there is traffic or this happened to me because of this person, my boss, my family member, my parents, my brother, my sister, the country, the economy etc.
We have this external thing we blame. What happens every time you do that? Every time you blame or you have an excuse or have a story is that you are giving away your power. You are basically given away your power and you have no ability to change what your current circumstance is. You have no power to change your life because you are putting on something outside yourself that you have no control over. You have no control of external world anyway.
But you have 100 percent control over yourself, over your own mind, over your own thoughts, your own actions, your own behaviors in your life. You have full control over that. You might be influenced by the outside world but you are ultimately the person that decides everything in your life.
So you are responsible for everything in your life. Start to take responsibility for everything. Everything that happens to you, you are responsible in some kind of way. You might not 100 percent agree on this and I can understand because it doesn’t feel good to take responsibility for some cases. There might be some horrible that might have happened to you in your life that are have been really bad and sure enough that you don’t want to take responsibility for it. You just want to hold on to that blame because this person or whatever. I can understand, some people are not ready to really let go of that and claim that responsibility.
The Power That comes When your take responsibility for Your
I learnt that I am responsible for everything in my life and you are too. You have to learn how to take responsibility for everything in your life. For example, let’s say that you are overweighed. A lot of people will have some sort of reasons why they are overweight. They might say that it is because I don’t have the time to walkout, they might say it is because healthy food is really expensive and that they cannot afford it, or they might say that it because of my genetics or because of my parents. They have some sorts of reasons but every time you are pointing fingers on every other thing. You will have no power to feel to change.
But when you are accept that you are overweighting because of you, that you are failing in life because of you. You are responsible for everything in your life. Until you get to that point where you accept and take responsibility for everything in your life and put all those stories and blames away you will never have the power to change the circumstances in your life. It is when you take responsibility for everything that happens to you that you will have the power to make a change, the power to take the right actions, that’s when you will start thinking of the way out of your situations, to do what is necessary in other to get out of that situation and loss weight.
Maybe some of those stories are through to some extends but those are not the defining reasons of why your life is the way it is. Maybe that has an impact or effect but it is not 100 percent true. So getting to the truth, taking on ownership and responsibility for everything is a very powerful thing but it doesn’t feel good because most of us don’t want to blame ourselves because it makes us feel like we are failure. It makes us feel like we are not enough but again if you get to that point when you admit to yourself that you overweighting because of you. That could at least get you in the right direction to make a change. I will give you examples:
William James had problems. Really bad problems, although born into a wealthy and prominent family, from birth James suffered life-threatening health issues: an eye problem that left him temporarily blinded as a child; a terrible stomach condition that caused excessive vomiting and forced him to adopt an obscure and highly sensitive diet; trouble with his hearing; back spasms so bad that for days at a time he couldn’t sit or stand upright.
Due to his health problems, James spent most of his time at home. He didn’t have many friends, and he wasn’t particularly good at school. Instead, he passed the days painting. That was the only thing he liked and the only thing he felt particularly good at.
Unfortunately, nobody else thought he was good at it. When he grew to adulthood, nobody bought his work. And as the years dragged on, his father (a wealthy businessman) began ridiculing him for his laziness and his lack of talent.
Meanwhile, his younger brother, Henry James, went on to become a world-renowned novelist; his sister, Alice James, made a good living as a writer as well. William was the family oddball, the black sheep.
In a desperate attempt to salvage the young man’s future, James’s father used his business connection to get him admitted into Harvard Medical School. It was his last chance, his father told him. If he screwed this up, there was no hope for him.
But James never felt at home or at peace at Harvard. Medicine never appealed to him. He spent the whole time feeling like a fake a fraud. After all, if he couldn’t overcome his own problems, how could he ever hope to have the energy to help others with theirs? After touring a psychiatric facility one day, James mused in his diary that he felt he had more in common with the patients than with the doctors.
A few years went by and, again to his father’s disapproval, James dropped out of medical school. But rather than deal with the brunt of his father’s wrath, he decided to get away: he signed up to join an anthropological expedition to Amazon rain forest.
Anyway, James made it all to way to Amazon, where the real adventure was to begin. Surprisingly, his fragile health held up that whole way. But once he finally made it, on the first day of the expedition, he promptly contracted smallpox and nearly died in the jungle.
Then his back spasms returned, painful to the point of making James unable to walk. By this time, he was emaciated and starved from the smallpox, Immobilized by his bad back, and left alone in the middle of South America with no clear way to get home. A journey that would take months and likely kill him anyway.
But somehow he eventually made it back to New England, where he was greeted by an (even more) disappointed father. By this point the young man wasn’t so young anymore- nearly thirty years old, still unemployed, a failure at everything he had attempted, with a body that routinely betrayed him and wasn’t likely to ever get better. Despite all the advantages and opportunities he’d been given in life, everything had fallen apart. The only constants in his life seemed to be suffering and disappointment. James fell into deep depression and began making plans to take his own life.
But one night, while reading lectures by the philosopher Charles Peirce, James decided to conduct a little experiment. In his dairy, he wrote that he would spend on year believing that he was 100 percent responsible for everything that occurred in his life, no matter what. During this period, he would do everything in his power to change his circumstances, no matter the likelihood of failure. If nothing improved in the year, then it would be apparent that he was truly powerless to the circumstances around him, and then he would take his own life.
The punch line? William James went on to become the father of American psychology. His work has been translated into bazillion languages, and he’s regarded as one of the most influential intellectuals/philosophers/psychologists of his generation.
There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.
When you take responsibility for your life, you will gain more power over your life.
The more we choose to take responsibility for our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Taking responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.
I once knew a man who was convinced that the reason no woman would date him was because he was too short. He was educated, interesting, and good looking, a good catch in principle. But he was absolutely convinced that woman found him too short to date.
And because he felt that he was too short, he didn’t often go out and try to meet woman. The few times he did, he would hone in on the smallest behaviors from any woman he talked with that could possibly indicate he wasn’t attractive enough for her and then convinced himself that she didn’t like him, even if she really did. As you can imagine, his dating life sucked.
What he didn’t realize was that he had chosen the value that was hurting him: height, he assumed, are attracted only to height. He was screwed, no matter what he did.
The choice of value was disempowering. It gave this man a really crappy problem: not being tall enough in a world meant for tall people. There are far better values that he could have adopted in his dating life. “I want to date only woman who like me for who I am” might have been a nice place to start – a metric that assesses the values of honesty and acceptance. But he didn’t choose these values. He likely wasn’t even aware that he was choosing his own value (or could do so). Even though he didn’t realize it he was responsible for his own problem.
Despite that responsibility, he went on complaining: “But I don’t have a choice,” he would tell the bartender. “There’s nothing I can do! Woman are superficial and vain and will never like me!” Yes, it is every single woman’s fault for not liking a self-pitying, shallow guy with shitty values.
Obviously, a lot of people hesitate to take responsibility for their problems because they believe that to take responsibility for their problems is to be fault for their problems.
Responsibility and faulty often appear together in our culture. But they are not the same thing. If I hit you with my car, I am both at fault and likely legally responsible to compensate you in some way. Even if hitting you with my car was an accident, I am still responsible. This is the way fault works in our society: if you fuck up, you are on the hook for making it right. And it should be that way.
But there are also problems that we aren’t at fault for, yet we are still responsible for them. For example, if you woke up one day and there was a newborn baby on your doorstep, it would not be your fault that the baby had been put there, but the baby would now be your responsibility. You would have to choose what to do. And whatever you ended up choosing, there would be problems associated with your choice – and you would be responsible for those as well.
So learn how to start taking responsibilities for some external problems as these is the major excuses we have. If you feel blessed with is post please do share with others and comment below.
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