We all have those times we lack confidence and we don’t feel good about ourselves but when low self-esteem becomes long term problem, well that’s when it can become harmful effect on our day to day live and in our mental health. So in this post you will learn how to deal with low self esteem. Check this video
What is self esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion we have about ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about our life in general. Which then make us better and able to deal with ups and down of life. But when ourselves esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves in a more negative and critical way. This tends to make us feel less able to take on challenges that life throws on us.
CAUSES OF LOW SELF ESTEEM
Low self esteem always results from how we are conditioned or have been conditioned by other people. Low self esteem often begins in childhood. You see our teachers, friends, siblings, parents and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves. But some reasons the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you. Perhaps you find it difficult to live up to people’s expectations of you or to your own expectations. Stress and difficult life events such as serious illness can also have negative effects on our self esteem. Personality can also play a part, some people are more prone to negative thoughts while some people set impossible high standards for themselves. If you were systematically insulted, criticized, bullied or abused in some ways. You will be more likely to have absorbed the negative messages about yourself from other people. Particularly if you were young when it happened because we tend to learn more deeply when we were young.
Related: Self Confidence : 5 Proven tips to boost self confidence
How To Deal With Low Self esteem
Dealing with low self esteem is something that large majority of people go through at one point or another. 87% of people that walks upon the earth are unhappy. To be honest with you, there was a period of time I struggled with low self esteem as well. And I was able to overcome it. Today I will show you steps to you need to take in other to get pass it just like I did, if you want to start feeling better. So make sure you read this article to the end
- Get out of the downward spiral
People with low self esteem usually think that they don’t worth much and because of this; they don’t often take care of themselves very well. And when you don’t take care of yourself, it affects you a lot, they way you feel and think and even the way you eat. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will start feeling worse and worse and this will actually lower yourself esteem. So if you want to get rid of low self esteem you have to break out of downward spiral. Decide to feel better about yourself no matter the condition you are in. Having low or high self esteem is a choice. (If you start taking care of yourself you will face new problem which is cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when you have 2 conflicting thought on your head. There is a part of you that want to take care of yourself and there is a part of you that thinks you don’t deserve it. So you will have thoughts like, why do I have to take care of myself. I don’t deserve it, there is no point in taking care of myself, and I’m worthless. Now I will show you how to overcome this, what you need to do I other to combat this. Steep no 2 to fixing your low self esteem.) One of the reason we have low self esteem is the thought that constantly harass us in our heart. If you are the type of person who constantly says to themselves “nobody loves me, nobody wants to be my friend, and I’m worthless”. This type of self talk is the reason why we feel poorly about ourselves. Listening to this over and over again will convince you that it is true. This is because if you listening to something over and over again you will begin to believe it. In other to stop this you will need to start meditating
- Making meditation a habit.
Meditation is the most powerful habit you can add to your live. What does meditation have to do in increasing your self esteem? Well meditation is one of the most powerful habits; it provides you with 3 skills to help manage your thought:
- How to recognize your thoughts:
Often times when we are saying negative things to ourselves, we don’t even notice it. The thought just play in the background continuously, often dozens, hundreds or even thoughts of times throughout the day. When you make meditation a habit, one of the first thing you will start to notice are all this negative thought. Meditation helps you recognize them and fight it.
- How To Reframe This Thought:
Whenever you are aware that you are having these thoughts you can counter it. If you make meditation a habit and come across a thought that say “I’m worthless” then you can counter it and say “no I’m not worthless, I do bring something to the table, I might not have achieved my goals but I’m on it, I will achieve my goals soon, I will be rich. You will something positive to encounter those negative thoughts. You will not allow those negative thoughts to dwell in you. Now I want you to remember this simple rule below:
“The More Times Thoughts Is Repeated, The More You Will Believe It To Be True”
If you throw a bottle on every negative thought that comes on your well, you start believing it to be false. This is very powerful because if you do this more and more you will start to convince yourself that you are not worthless.
Note: Have it in mind that this will not happen fast. It is a very slow process (at least three months to see some change). But every time you notice a bad thought and you actively counter it, your self esteem will increase by just a little bit.
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- Create Your Own Thought:
Like I just mentioned above, the more time thought is repeated on your head, the more you will believe it to be true. So it is possible after making meditation into habit, you can pick or chose some certain thoughts that you want to believe. For example, if you keep repeating to yourself every morning “I will be great” Well at first you will feel some resistance. Like, that’s not true, stop lying to yourself. But as you continue you will find yourself making some efforts on what to do in other to be great. You will start looking for the right information or people to surround yourself to. Remember this; your surrounding determines your future. If you want to get rid of low self esteem surround yourself with the right people. Listen to right records that will make you start having high self esteem. When picking statements to thinking on, picking ones that is somehow believable like the one I just mentioned. Don’t say to yourself that you have magic power. If you start thinking positive statements about yourself you will start believing that you are can be great and you feel at the same time. This is how you can fix your low self-esteem.
- Build Positive Relationships.
If you have some people in your life. Like some friends who brings you down by saying some harmful things to you. Speak to them, let them know how those words makes you feel and if they don’t change, try spend less time with them. And build new relationships with positive people. People that will appreciate and value you.
Related: Self esteem: Everything you need to know
- Take On New Challenge (Set Goal)
Look, we all feel nervous at times when we start a new challenge or a new thing. This is normal. If you remember when we have health self-esteem we don’t let this feelings stop us from taken up something new or new challenge. If you can take up a new challenge and achieve them, it will help increase your self esteem.
Well explained, thanks for the impact you are making